HELP, I CANNOT UNWIND – PART 2

In the last blog post posted past week, I already shared three tips that can help you if you have trouble switching off. Here are three more ideas that you can try in addition or choose some of them. 

Work stress is not a trivial thing. If your thoughts are always focused on your job, it’s usually not only a burden on you, but also on those around you. Often you are not present for your family, partner or friends and they notice that. Over time, it will not be a joy to be with you. 

I experienced this myself until 10 years ago. My husband often gave me the feedback that I was so ” scheduled” and that I dealt with him as if he were a job task. Not very nice of me, as I see it today. At that time I simply didn’t notice it. Part of the problem was that I worked in a home office. So I looked for an external office and that alone brought a lot of improvement. But I still had a lot to learn. Some of the insights I share with you here. 

1. Take care of your other fields of life:
   Over the years, I have developed a model of the six fields of life. Besides job and finances there are the areas family, social environment and myself. And at the center of it all is health. If job and the financial security that comes with it are the only things that occupy your mind, it’s high time to act. Gradually strengthen the other areas as well. In what order depends on your priorities. A few years ago a coaching participant felt so stressed that he suspected to become burnt out soon. He found time for the job, healthy finances and his family, but all other fields were in trouble. After the coaching he picked up an old hobby, photography, and strengthened the area “myself”. Only three months later he told me that he was feeling much better and had more energy for work and family. For me that is “healthy egotism” that you need from time to time.
2. Separate work and private life:
   It’s not so easy anymore. E-mails pop up on your mobile phone. The laptop is always with you and the home office is just a door away. That’s why you need clear rules and standards that help you separate work and private life. This can mean, for example, defining a time when you are not available any longer. If you have a work phone, you can switch it off at 19:00 or earlier or set it to flight mode. iPhone has a “Do Not Disturb” mode that mutes calls and messages. You can schedule it to turn on and off at a specific time. Similar settings are available for other operating systems. If you only have one mobile phone, you can still decide not to accept “work calls” at a certain time and not to check your mails in the evening. All it takes is a decision from you and maybe a little bit of courage to make yourself unpopular until everyone gets used to your new rules. They will get used to it, i promise you that.
3. Learn a relaxation technique: Does your mind still rotate? Then there is no way around the fact that you have to learn to actively switch off. That’s exactly what relaxation techniques of all kinds have been developed for. Whether you learn meditation, autogenic training or yoga, it does not matter. The main thing is that you find something to bring you back into the here and now, because that is what all methods are about. By the way, the idea is not that you won’t have any thoughts at all. A friend of mine, who has been meditating for over forty years, has confirmed this: The thoughts always come. It’s just a matter of not clinging to them. I always imagine it as a cloud. It comes flying, I look at it for a moment and then I let it fly on again. In the beginning it requires practice to perceive the clouds before you sink into them. Don’t blame yourself for “being thought”. Recognize it, look at the thought briefly and let it fly again.By the way, if you feel that meditation, yoga and the like are too boring for you and you are too impatient, this is probably the hint that you urgently need one of these methods. 

The last tip is in my opinion the most important of the six I shared in this and the previous blog post. Without it, everything else will be more difficult. But it does not have to be complicated. Today, for example, there are meditation apps that can help you to get a first impression of active relaxation without spending much time. A nice introduction to the topic can be found for example for free in the app “Headspace”. 

Whichever of the six tips you try first doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you do something. Because your stress usually doesn’t go away on its own. On the contrary, if you don’t do something, it will only get worse. So, take an active hand in your “mental hygiene”.