If you want too much, you become impatient, create pressure, fail to listen and miss out on many opportunities that might have been possible with an open mindset. This applies to relationships, sales situations and much more. Here are my thoughts on this. 

I had two conversations recently. First, a sales representative asked me for advice on how he could still convince a customer, even though there were honestly no good arguments for a purchase. Then I was on the phone with a friend. She was complaining about her husband, who is just not the way she would like him to be. 

Both classics and both situations in which I advise: let go, don’t push so hard – just want less. 

In my opinion, this wanting too much is toxic, especially in relationships. The relationship and the partner are under massive pressure. Experience shows that the desired result is not achieved in this way. 

I was able to give the sales agent concrete tips. I told him: ” Stop fighting! Just be there, give the client space and ask one or two questions to better understand how they think.

In such a conversation, pauses are also allowed. The salesperson doesn’t always have to talk and doesn’t always have to know what to say. Clever arguments and smart objections are sometimes even counterproductive in such a situation because they put the customer under pressure. In the case of this particular customer, it means: he goes on the counter-offensive and talks himself out of a possible purchase more and more. Based on my analysis of the previous sales interaction, I would say that this is exactly what has already happened. 

The only chance is therefore the above: Want nothing more – only allow it to happen. 

And it is quite similar in a relationship. Only if I accept my partner as they are, do they have the freedom to develop. And that can sometimes even mean that they do it in the desired direction. In my marriage I can see it like this. The more we accept each other as we are, the more willing we are to change for each other. So: no more fighting, giving space and wanting to understand the other one’s way. Didn’t I already mention that above? Oh yes, that’s right – selling and relationships are both interpersonal – which is probably why the same tips apply sometimes. 

However, I admit it myself. It’s much easier to implement these ideas in sales contacts. In your own relationship, there are so many emotions that letting go is much more difficult – and yet the only chance. 

If you feel you are being recognised right now, I want to encourage you. It can be done! 

But if you are completely trapped in your patterns of pressure and struggle, I can gladly support you through coaching. Just get in touch.